The Near Horizon: July 2018


June was a pretty bad month.

Obviously, there really haven't been many updates beyond just Dead Winter, which was already written, so it's pretty easy to put it up regularly.

I normally try to be transparent, but I'm going to be vague right now, mainly just because I don't have enough information. Basically, I'm having a situation where it could be nothing, or it could be something really bad. It's *probably* nothing, though. Not knowing is *really* fucking stressful, and as a result, I've been dealing with some pretty bad anxiety, depression, and insomnia.

A side effect of this is that I'm having a genuinely hard time being interested in like...anything. And I really want to be interested. I want to want to do things. I'm even having a hard time, for example, finding a video game to play. Which sounds like a really fucking stupid problem to be having, but when you're having difficulty with something so basic, it kind of infects other areas as well. I feel like I need to just turn my brain off and relax for even just a few hours, but I can't even do that.

So basically I'm dealing with some shit and it's going to take some time to sort out and I don't really know how long. Hopefully by the end of July, but I don't know.

On the writing front, progress is being made, it's just very slow and sporadic. Unfortunately, I'm still in early pre-production of both Kane's War and my Halo story. I haven't made much in the way of progress on them. I'm going to try and get back into making regular progress this month, but my current situation is kind of unpredictable.

Basically same for The DOOM Chronicles. For some reason it's been REALLY hard to write for it since coming back and I don't really know why. I think it might be because Episode Two, in some ways, feels like a retread of Episode One, which I already wrote, extensively, so it's hard to press on with it. I'm going to keep going with that, though.

The only real piece of news I have is that I began working on a rewrite of a very, very old fan fiction that I never finished. Here's the cover art.

And There Was Another.png

It's a Knights of the Old Republic fan fiction. I've already written and posted six chapters over on Here's the link, if you want to get started reading it right away. It takes place alongside the original KOTOR, featuring another survivor from the Endar Spire. It chronicles his time on Taris, spent mostly in the Undercity fighting rakghouls, and then goes on to a KOTOR-like story (though not nearly as epic) spanning several planets, including Dantooine, Hoth, and Dxun. (Technically that's a moon, but whatever.)

It's called an Obsidian Classic because it's a rewrite of an old story. Now, technically, there exists a few of those already. The Thing 2: Infection is a rewrite of an old story, but it is not an Obsidian Classic. I'll try to differentiate between them as best I can. Probably the simplest way I can explain it is non-Classics are intended to be modernized, optimized stories that are written with newer sensibilities in mind. Classics, on the other hand, are written more for fun than anything else.

I don't want to make it sound like I'm being lazy with Obsidian Classics, but basically I try not to sweat the small stuff when I write them. I just...write them. I also am trying to sort of recapture some of the ideas and feelings I was going for back then.

It's hard to explain, even in my own head, but there it is.

If you want, you can ignore all that and just read it without a problem.

I'm going to start posting it over on WattPad very soon, on my Obsidian Productions profile. I hope you enjoy it. I started writing it about a week ago because I wanted to write something...simpler. Something less stressful. Something that wasn't planned to be a gigantic epic spanning hundreds of thousands of words. And There Was Another will probably be pretty long, but it's pretty low-stress writing wise, so that's what I've been doing, and probably what I'll be doing.

Sorry I don't have more good news, but this just hasn't been my year so far, and June was pretty bad. I'm really hoping July is when things start to get better.

The Near Horizon: June 2018

Hey everyone.

I'm in kind of a weird place right now. Kinda good. Kinda bad.

I had kind of a like...I don't know, breakdown sounds way too dramatic. Let's just say that I was in a pretty awful mood earlier this week and began really considering the fact that I might actually be really bad at writing.

My problem is that I'm fucking tired of being ignored by most of the world. People who do read my work tell me how awesome it is, but I'm so unpopular that it's kind of makes me despair. I keep seeing all these stories on WattPad that get a million reads that are poorly written copies of other stories that are about YouTubers or boy bands or whatever and wondering what exactly it is I'm doing wrong.

I guess I kind of figure, if I was good, I'd be popular, right?

Unfortunately, that's an easy conclusion to come to. The reality of the situation is tons of people languish in obscurity. Some their entire life. Regardless of their quality.

I still don't know if I suck or not, but I know I need to stop worrying about it. I'm always trying to improve and I'm open to constructive criticism, but the thing is, I am as good as I am, however good or bad that is. The only real answer is to keep writing as best I can.

So with that in mind, I've decided to refocus my efforts.

It just seems like everything I've been trying to do this year has failed so far. Not necessarily failed to be noticed, but more failed to be a good idea on my part. The conclusion I've drawn is that it's probably time to stop diverting my attention and just get to work on the follow-up to The Shadow Wars.

As such, I've got a few cancellations to announce.

I've taken down Unknown. I've had to admit to myself that it just isn't working. Trying to write it was honestly dragging me down, because I realized that I just didn't know how to write it, and this was a case where persevering wasn't a good idea. So it's gone. I'm sorry if you were reading it.

The other titles that I've announced, IT'S DARK HERE, DAWN'S WAR, DESOLATION DREAMING, THE VOID, & PURGATORY, are not necessarily canceled, but they are at least put back on the shelf. I'm not sure when I'll pull them back down. I'm hoping the fact that I'm going to start working on my next big novel, and the other big piece of news I'm dropping, will make up for this fact.

I also have been alluding to an idea for a few months now about a side-series to The Shadow Wars. I actually went so far as make and release a cover for it on Facebook. I'm canceling this officially. Again, sorry. I shouldn't have bothered with the cover, but it was done in an act of desperation when I was having my difficulties. I have been working on it behind the scenes for a few weeks now, and after having to rework the first story more than once, I finally admitted that it was a bad idea and I was wasting my time. And if I were to write it, I think I'd be wasting your time, too.

Now, the big announcement. Remember that Post-Apocalyptic Survival/Horror novel I kept mentioning over 2017 and earlier this year? Well, it's done, and basically ready to go. The plans I had for it kind of fell through, so I'm sitting here with a complete novel that I think might actually be really good.

I'm releasing it.

It's called DEAD WINTER. It takes place decades after a pair of apocalypse level events ripped the world apart: a virus turned most of humanity and many of the animals into ravenous beasts hungry for live flesh, and an attempt to control the weather spun wildly out of control and pushed the planet into a state of permanent winter. When James Pierce, a low-ranking recruit in the Sentinels, the military force that protects what remains of humanity, is thrown into a squad responding to a distress call from an isolated and important communications outpost, he has high hopes for his first real mission.

But when his helicopter crashes and it becomes immediately obvious that something has gone catastrophically wrong, he begins hunting for survivors and trying to salvage the situation. As he struggles for survival, he learns that something far worse than the typical horrors he's used to might be lurking in the area...


Read the book HERE on WattPad.

So yeah. This is the longest novel I've ever written. I'll be updating Mondays and Thursdays until it is complete. Let me know what you think. If people actually care about it, I'd definitely be open to continuing the story.

In the meantime, I'll be working on the first book in the new Shadow Wars series and I'll try to post it in June, but it might end up waiting until July, depending on how long pre-production goes on for. I'll drop some new information on it right here.

The series is called KANE'S WAR, as is the first novel. It picks up ten years after the end of Saturate and introduces a brand new protagonist, Ethan Kane. He is a Special Operations soldier with a lot of personal problems. He ends up getting caught in the middle of a massive, insane situation and is forced to fight harder than he has ever fought in his entire life in order to survive and save others around him. In doing so, he gets the attention of Anomalous Operations.

Kane's War is basically a lead-in to the rest of the seven book series. This series is going to be a bit more character driven. The over-arching plot will be following Kane's own personal journey, with each individual book being about, you guessed it, people killing monsters with guns in outer space. I think I've managed to collect some good ideas here, and I especially love the first book. It's going to be a lot of fun.

In other news, I'm going to push ahead with The DOOM Chronicles: Episode Two. Sorry that's taking so long. I'm also going to start working on my Halo epic. It's still in pre-production right now, as I'm not putting a lot of effort into it, as I know I need to focus more on getting DOOM written before starting something new. Basically, what I'm looking at is getting Episode Two halfway finished before I start actually writing the Halo story. Then I'll work on both of them simultaneously.

And that's where I'm at. Currently trying to wrap up other real life things, trying to get my head back in the right place and not succumb to absolute fucking despair.

It's not easy.

Wish me luck. And let me know what you think of Dead Winter.

The Near Horizon: May 2018

I finally have some good news!

Although I admittedly did not get very much done for April, (just one chapter for The DOOM Chronicles and two for Unknown), progress in my real life has been made! That big problem that occurred near the end of January has finally been rectified and in a way that makes it seem fairly certain that it will not crop up again for hopefully a really long time. So that's out of the way!

The other big problem I've been having since about December, my general lazy lethargy and stress problems, (frequently at odds with each other), is finally beginning to dissipate. I'm back on my medication, and even on the lowest possible dosage, I'm definitely feeling just a lot clearer, focused, and motivated.

It's this kind of thing that really helps kind of emphasize psych meds for me. I've always been a proponent of medications, although for my own reasons, most of them vague and unfounded, I kind of resisted the idea of me personally getting on them. Although in reality what kept me from doing so was a lack of healthcare insurance. I know there's a lot of stigma even still around any kind of mental illness or psychological imbalances, which still strikes me was fucking ridiculous.

Someone is diabetic, no one questions that they take insulin.

Someone has a psychological imbalance? They should just 'get over it' and 'man up' and 'stop being sad'.

Both of these are documentable, objectively proven realities, both of them are physical problems, and yet one is basically just straight-up disrespected. It's stupid as hell.

I think part of the problem is that people don't understand psych meds in general. Besides the fact that there's more than just anti-depression meds, medication doesn't make you happy. It makes you more capable of being happy. And it's also a bit of trial and error. A medical that can help one person a hell of a lot might actually make another person worse. I took an anti-anxiety medication in late 2016 and early 2017 that actually increased my anxiety.

Anyway, I could go on about this for awhile. So I'm back on my medication, and it's helping, and that's a good thing.

Now, that being said, my life is kind of busy right now. The short of it is that one of my roommates is moving out. So I'm taking the opportunity to kind of rearrange the house, and to give the whole house kind of a deep clean. This is going to be a bit of a process and isn't something I can just do and get done in a day or two. So it's going to be ongoing throughout May. I've got other background annoying real-life things to deal with too. Basically, my life is busy right now.

So, onto the actual story related news. I don't have much, but I'll give you what I've got.

Basically, I'm going to try and get to a point where I'm more regularly updating The DOOM Chronicles and Unknown. My primary focus for now, and I imagine for the next few months, is wrapping up those two things. Once Episode Two is done, I'm going to put The DOOM Chronicles back to sleep for a bit.


I fired up DOOM 3 to help kind of get me in the right head space to keep going with The DOOM Chronicles.

As for what I want to do after my two current projects are done? Instead of Desolation Dreaming, I'm going to go ahead and write Dawn's War, since I think it's about high time for another Shadow Wars related title.

And after The DOOM Chronicles goes back on the shelf, I think what I'm going to do is finally get started on my Classic Halo Universe. Honestly, I feel like if I don't get started on it, I'm going to lose my fucking mind. I might not even wait until The DOOM Chronicles: Episode Two is finished before I start, but I do want to make sure that I make some significant progress on that story before I really dig into Halo.

I'm also still giving consideration to a long-running side-series to The Shadow Wars that I think people would really like. So, that's still floating around near the forefront of my thoughts.

On a smaller note, I ended up disassembling my Obsidian Thirteen profile mainly because I realized that I was lying to myself. There's realistically no way I'm going to have time to tend to it for at least a year, if not two or longer. So I took it down and instead rolled some of the ideas into Obsidian Productions. I plan to release them as Obsidian Classics further on down the line. More on that when I have time.

And now the big, probably annoying announcement, although I'm not sure how many people were really following this. Over the past year I've been talking about this Post-Apocalyptic Survival/Horror I've been working on. I'm basically going to take it and put it up on the shelf. I don't want to get too much into why I'm doing this. I can say that it's not because I doubt its quality. I mean, you know me, I don't think I'm amazing, but I've gotten a little bit better at being able to determine if what I'm writing sucks. So it's not a quality issue.

The primary reason is that, well, I have a kind of vision, a really, really big idea, in which this novel is one small piece. It's a huge writing related idea, and it's something that's going to take time, like, a lot of time, for pre-production. A few years at least. It's separate from what I'm doing with my S. A. Lusher stuff, wholly its own thing. I'm going to be quietly working on it in the background for a long time and I'm pretty much going to stop talking about it.

Which means the majority of my focus is going to S. A. Lusher and Obsidian Productions. So yay!

Like I said before, I want 2018 to kind of be a catch-up year where I write a few of the projects that I've had rattling around in my brain for several years now. I want to clear the table for future development of The Shadow Wars universe, as I have a lot of ideas.

And that's about it for now. May will also be quiet, but I'm hoping it will be the least quiet month of 2018 so far. Wish me luck!